Telling my friend she is so lovely sparked a stream of consciousness.
As I read back the text I had sent, I realized how sweet those words were and how sweet the English language is to me. I also realized how I equate the Spanish language to a primal and tribal call that comes from my womb. A different person from a far away land this language is someone I used to be. English has now become this place of peace and quiet. English is calm and logical. My Spanish is loud and angry. Spanish is passionate and intense. The children and even the husband knows when Spanish is what comes out of my mouth it is time to run.
I am now reading Neruda, Marquez and Cervantes all of them in their original Spanish language in hopes I can reach that space where Spanish is sweet. I am biting around it like a jelly doughnut anticipating when I reach the middle in a melodious harmony.
Because at this time... I am finding myself leading what feels like a double life. Praying and whispering in English and the rebellious filled with ecstasy driven yells in Spanish. I try to somehow lay out all these words, ideas, idioms and catch phrases and sew them up into a colorful patchwork blanket to wrap myself with. I try to build a lyrical bridge between the island and the mainland to make a new song.
Will be back soon with new images.